


The Young Case of Murderers and Villains

by orphan_account



Category: Original Work
Genre: Assassins, F/F, F/M, FBI, Sarcastic Humor, Short Story, Violence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-01-29
Updated: 2014-01-29
Packaged: 2018-01-10 10:58:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 10,203
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1158870
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>FBI agent Leah Moore doesn't know what to make of her newest case of a drug cartel running business from a museum's basement. She doesn't even know what to make of the genius Alex Kingfisher, who was designated to work with her on the drug cartel case. With Alex's flirtations and a meddling ex, can Agent Moore solve the case?</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Young Case of Murderers and Villains

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first work I've posted on the site, and a totally original piece from me (so please be nice!). I might make this into a series revolving around the idea of... well, you have to read on to find out!

I had never dreamed of becoming the veterinarian that my parents confessed that they’d wanted me to be. Those two parents were wealthy and successful, one a top female lawyer in New York City, and another the head of the business department at Harvard University. However, they always had time for me, whether it was sneaking me up to the top of the Empire State Building one late night, or taking me sledding on the Harvard campus, they were always loving and successful. So when I decided I wanted to be an FBI agent in kindergarten when all of my female cohorts wanted to be princesses, they took the task up with gusto.  
In middle school, my dad would take me jogging around the Harvard campus on weekends with the girls’ sports teams, preparing me for the physical exams. My mother set me free on the streets of New York City armed with a few dollars and a small cell phone, tasked with getting her lunch without getting caught by the fellow lawyers on her floor. I’m not sure if anyone thought I could do it, but with such supportive parents, I knew the possibility crossed their minds.  
In high school, real research was done. It turns out you can be accepted in one of five fields; Accounting, Computer Science/Information Technology, Language, Law, or Diversified. Accounting wasn’t my specialty, and neither were computers. I struggled along in Spanish 3, and then dropped it when the graduation requirements were fulfilled. With a mother as a top lawyer, Law was the natural choice. There was the shadowy topic of ‘Diversified’, but that just seemed like an umbrella topic, a non-try-hard topic. You couldn’t classify yourself though, the FBI did that upon reviewing your application. Once you were accepted, your traits were reviewed to see which programs you best fitted, which included:  
• Accounting  
• Finance  
• Computer Science/Information Technology Expertise  
• Engineering Expertise  
• Foreign Language(s) Proficiency  
• Intelligence Experience  
• Law Experience  
• Law Enforcement/Investigative Experience  
• Military Experience  
• Physical Sciences (e.g., physics, chemistry, biology, etc.) Expertise  
• Diversified Experience  
Once again, the lawyer mother pointed out the Law Experience topic. However, I wanted to shoot towards Investigation Experience. Mom and Dad agreed, and they pushed me to apply to a military academy, like West Point, or for a degree in criminal justice. I had to be 23 years old to apply, and since I was only 16 at the time, I saw college as a way of killing time until I could apply.  
After years of college sports and degrees, I finally graduated at the age of 22 with a bachelor’s degree in criminal justice. That final year passed more slowly than the previous 22 years, but my birthday finally came around. I received a couple gifts, but my personal favorite were the postage envelope and stamps that would contain my application.  
X  
“MOORE! FRONT AND CENTER!”  
Shit. That’s Anapol. I shook myself awake from my desk. Standing up quickly, I ran down to the conference room that doubled as Anapol’s team’s meeting area. I was the only team member present, besides of course Anapol. Bruce Anapol had the build of a wrestler that had gained a couple pounds, but despite the pudgy bulldog look, his hazel eyes shone with curiosity and knowledge under his balding head. My team mates often said Anapol scared them; I said that his mustache and appearance reminded me of a circus strong man.  
“Sorry sir, I stayed here all night reading the files from the Bruger case-“. He cut me off with a wave and a short laugh. “Moore, do you remember that case we got in a couple days ago? After the Bruger case?”  
I gazed toward the frosty patterns on the window, remembering the case we were almost assigned, before another team volunteered. “It’s about a museum board member, right? He’s using the museum’s basement as an office for a drug cartel…”. I looked back at my boss for approval, which shone in his eyes as his mustache bounced with a nod.  
“The other team gave up the case when two of their members were shot on a stake out. Hmph! Amateurs. I pleaded to the boss upstairs to let us try again, with better members.” He puffed up his chest and looked at me like I was the answer to life’s greatest mysteries. “I persuaded him that you need a small knowledgeable team to tackle these kinds of operations. So, he sent us some Brain from the chemistry building to help with the drugs and bombs blah blah blah. Meet your new team mate, Alex Kingfisher.”  
Now, I don’t consider myself a loner. All my life I had focused on being an agent, so that left little room for a social life. A few boyfriends appeared and faded out in college, but none that were worth a second thought about. I also never thought about dating a girl, until well, Alex Kingfisher.  
Whoa. She walked into the room with an ease and confidence my muscled body could never convey. Sure, I was confident in my appearance and I was pretty banging-hot, but Alex was gorgeous. She was a skinny redhead, with matching blue eyes and freckles that peppered her face like constellations in the night time sky. I expected a lab coat, but instead received a pair of stylish corduroys, and a simple purple top that had a swooping neckline. The chemistry nerd poked out in the pair of green Ray-Bans and an atom necklace that hung around her neck. Simple leather boots stopped a couple feet away from me, and a smile radiated from her that seemed like she was actually happy to be working with me.  
“Nice to meet you, Miss Kingfisher.” I said, throwing back a smile that I hoped would rival hers. Anapol laughed, throwing a muscled arm around each of us. Alex shot me a look that radiated curiosity, terror, and humor in two blue eyes. Does this happen a lot? Her eyes pleaded. I rolled my eyes to encourage her to stick through Anapol’s tough hugs, and was greeted by another smile  
. “You kids go out and play now. Solve this case before Christmas, alright? I have a granddaughter to visit.” Anapol gave us a gentle shove out the door, and we stood in the hallway for a second, the sounds of phones and computers and fax machines a couple feet away.  
I turned to the new arrival, curious to find out more about her. “So. Chemistry?”  
A smile and a mischievous wink. “Not just. I’m also well-accomplished in physics and biology. Your department director and my department director thought you needed a bomb expert that knows how bombs actually work.”  
Hmph. As if I don’t know how bombs work. “I know how bombs work thank you very much.”  
“Oh?” She playfully shoved my arm. “And how do they work exactly?”  
I led her back to my desk, ignoring the stares from my other team mates. They were all guys and they all seemed to be staring at Alex, or at least mesmerized by her. “Miss Kingfisher-“  
“Call me Alex,” she said, taking a seat on the corner of my desk on top of the forgotten Bruger case file. I pulled my gun out of my desk along with my wallet.  
“Well Alex, you’re the bomb expert. Should we discuss it over lunch now?”  
X

“Are you ready yet Alex? We need to be outside the museum in fifteen minutes, and it takes at least ten to get there!” I paced around the room in my gown. Alex and I had managed to tickets to the museum’s gala to get a better look at the operations below. Alex won’t be coming unless she comes out of the damn bathroom soon- “How do I look?”  
Her red hair was curled and pushed to one side of her head, held in place by a silver flower-shaped pin. A matching silver gown fitted her body perfectly. One side of the dress had a slit up the leg, and she had found silver heels to match the dress. Her earrings looked like small stars, and her usual atom necklace sat on her collarbone. I rolled my eyes at the time delay and moved forward to fix her necklace.  
“You look great girl. Let’s go! Do you have your gun?” Over the past week, Alex had reviewed the basics and was now licensed to carry a firearm for her protection. She held up the thigh holster, confused as to where to put it. Rolling my eyes, I bent down and hiked up her dress. Alex let out almost a girly squeal, but I was able to secure her gun to her thigh without it being visible through the dress. In addition to my pistol, I had a knife in the bottom of my flats that matched my midnight blue dress, which Alex insisted in the store that it complemented my hair and eye color.  
“Wait! Leah! You need your necklace!” I sighed, as she held up a simple gem necklace I had owned since high school. It matched the dress perfectly when I sent my mother a picture, so she sent me the necklace. I turned around and held up my hair, waiting for Alex to put the thin chain around my neck. Suddenly, I felt the chain tighten around my neck, and my instincts took over. I took hold of her wrists, flipping her body over my back and onto the queen bed that we had to share.  
“What was that for? I could’ve hurt you!” I was still holding her wrists above her head as she looked up at me with that Alex Kingfisher stare.  
“That was the only way I could get you to be on top.” She said it with a purr that I found attractive, but I just dropped her wrists, picked up her FBI badge and chucked it at her from the desk. Making sure my key card was secured in my bra, I stalked to the door, still mad. “Let’s go Alex! We have a date!”  
The elevator ride was full of Alex’s laughter that made me forget I was ever mad at her for holding us up, and by the time we reached the lobby, we had linked arms and we were strutting across the lobby. The museum had sent us a driver, a young kid with dark black hair in a simple suit and black bow tie, who was holding the door open for us. I smiled and nodded at him, and Alex winked at him, as she thanked him for holding the door for us. I could swear the kid was looking in his rear view mirror at us the entire ride, surprised he had gotten so lucky with his passengers. Alex played off his innocence, chatting with him about his job, but soon learning about his education to become an artist. I rolled my eyes, but participated enough in the conversation. When Alex grew quiet, I took her hand, reassuring the nervousness I could see in her blue eyes.  
“Hey Alex?”  
“Mhmm?” She was staring out the window at the tall city skyscrapers, which I knew were prompting questions of physics and design in her mathematical brain. “When I first met you, you walked into that conference room with such confidence, how’d you do it?”  
Alex looked taken aback at first, but her warm smile soon turned into a chuckle. “I was walking with my mother once, and you know how she was a fashion designer? She hated math, but she loved me to death and would always try to give me these ‘tips for womanhood’. Anyway, she told me once while we were walking in the mall, that men kiss the footsteps of a woman who looks confident. Her husband had left her after I was born, so I don’t even call him my father, but I could tell when she relaxed her shoulders and extended her neck, that she looked more confident. There was a look in her eyes that I couldn’t replicate, so when she was very sick, I asked her the same question you’re asking me now, and she told me; ‘Alexandra, I simply think of the word murder, and the rest comes naturally.’ So every time I’m nervous or scared or meeting someone new, I put on that façade of relaxed shoulders and murderous eyes, and that’s how I craft that confident look.”  
I thought for a second about what she had said, but the only thing that managed to come out of my mouth was; “She told you to think of murdering people?” I laughed as she rolled her eyes. “Leah Juliet Moore. I tell you intimate details about the relationship between myself and my since past mother, and all you can think of is murder? No wonder you’re a field agent.”  
I was about to open my mouth to rebut her, but our skinny driver coughed slightly. “M’ams, we’re here.” We looked to our right at the large marble building that had the characteristic museum look. The driver opened my door first, and I smoothly dashed around the car before him to help Alex out of the car. She gave him another wink, and I smiled at him.  
“Will you be bringing us home?” I asked as Alex investigated the museum’s facade. He nodded. “I-I’ll be outside with the other drivers if you need someone to bring you home.” Alex flashed a dazzling smile at him, took my arm, and she pulled me up the marble steps. “Traditional Greek revival. Ugh. So many museums use columns these days.” I heard her complain under her breath.  
“Shoulders relaxed. Neck long. Murder!” I whispered back at her. She laughed, startling other guests as we got in line to enter the gala. I looked ahead, noticing the full body scanners and guards. “Scanners ahead,” I muttered to her. Alex sighed.  
“Pull down your dress a bit.” What. “What did you just say-Hey!” She seized the front of my dress, pulling it forward to expose more cleavage than I was comfortable with. She did the same to herself, and as we got out of line to the body pat downs, we put on our most dazzling smiles. Jesus Christ, cleavage and smiles might just get us out of here alive.  
“Good evening gentlemen,” Alex said, smiling at a pair of guards that looked like twins that had run into a brick wall. They stared back and forth between Alex and I, debating which one of us they would choose if they could. Pigs. I thought as I noticed one of them winking at me, or rather, attempting to. It came off as more of a twitch, but Alex grabbed my hand and pulled us past them as she finished her conversation with the guard that was attempting to seduce her.  
“You just wanted to grab my dress. I could’ve done it myself you know.” I complained, grabbing the front of my dress and pulling it up. She chuckled, helping me fix the strap of my dress, but leaving her dress.  
“I think you look gorgeous babe,” her voice adopting that purr that she attempted to seduce me with in our hotel room. Rolling my eyes, I looked around for a heavily-guarded door that stunk of drug cartel aura. Alex tugged my arm towards the main section of the museum that smelled like champagne where all of the guests were headed for drinks and socialization.  
“Alex, I don’t do well with… social gatherings…” Actually I just want to solve this mystery and go home with my dog and some hot tea. She tugged me forward again. “Nonsense. Just let me do the talking, ok? I’ll think of a good story for us. We’re rich donors. No! We found a collection of fossils… no. Umm… we funded a laboratory trying to research black hole gravity and forces in deep parts of space! Yeah, that’s good…”  
“And are we together?” I asked, attempting to put a purr into my voice like she had done. Alex’s eyes narrowed as the cogs and gears in her brain turned. We were teammates on a case, but neither of us had declared that we should be, or rather were, a thing. Sure, there were elevator kisses and hotel room cuddling and talking but I had never declared myself a lesbian like Alex had.  
“As part of our cover,” I added. She looked a bit disheartened, but she nodded. “We are famous rich lesbians that donate to outer space research laboratories. Now, come along Miss Moore, darling, we have friends to make.” She kissed my cheek swiftly, and used my shock as a tool to pull me to the main gathering of the gala.  
Alex Kingfisher was a natural extrovert. She laughed in all the right places of a conversation, accepted drinks politely and even knew what to say when bringing up a deceased friend or relative. Myself, on the other hand, was a product of two geniuses, and thus I am an introverted person who always had my parents to steer my around their parties . I shadowed Alex, laughing and drinking, but I didn’t have the talent for socialization that my supposed girlfriend did. We pecked each other’s cheeks when marriage was joked about, but never more. Finally, I had to detach her arm from mine to go fill my glass again.  
I took a seat at the bar next to a younger man in a tweed suit, with Birkenstocks and red Ray Bans to rival Alex’s green ones. He looked at me a couple of times, no doubt checking me out, but I was here to drink. If I can’t find the damn place then I might as well do what I do best. “Bourbon on the rocks,” I said, slapping down a couple of bills like I used to do with my brother and his friends at the local sports bar. I was about to drown my sorrows in my lovely Bourbon when a voice to my left punctuated my solace. “Bourbon, eh? I’ve never liked that stuff.”  
I turned. The young professor-looking man was talking to me, gesturing to my drink. “Oh? What do you prefer then?” I asked. He shrugged. “I’ve never had an affinity for drinks, but I think we both have an affinity for something.”  
I blushed, knowing full well he was talking about Alex. “Yeah but it seems like I have something you don’t.” pointing at the empty seat next to him. That was a bad thing to say you dolt. I was waiting for the disapproving stare, but instead I got a reassuring, warm laugh. “Dr. Richard Young. Professor of Ancient European History at New York University.”  
“Leah Moore. Rich lesbian and donor to deep space research projects,” I said, shaking his hand. He chuckled. “I knew that bodacious redhead belonged to someone, but I am truly surprised she’s yours.”  
I rolled my eyes. You had to pick up the only true part of that sentence, did you, Brain Boy. “Hmph. She’s mine you know.” I said, leaning over to him, forgetting about my cleavage. He laughed, good natured and warm through my alcoholic comments.  
“That’s not a bad thing. I’ve spotted you and your girlfriend a couple times. It was a matter of time before you came over here; I noticed you seemed out of your element.” He gestured to Alex, who was entertaining a group of older woman with flailing hand gestures, no doubt the time she fell out of the tub as a toddler and slid all the way down her stairs and out her front door stark naked, to the horror of her nanny.  
“Out of my element? You’re saying I can’t talk to people?”  
“Not as easily as your pretty girlfriend there.” Richard inclined to his head again to Alex.  
“Watch the comments, professor.” Wow I can really play up the jealous lesbian bitch type when I drink. Richard nodded. “Of course not, I’m just stating the facts.”  
“What facts?”  
“Well, opposites attract.” Wait, is he calling me ugly now? “Listen, Mr. Young, if you’re insulting me, I can’t tell because I’ve had a few beverages-“  
“I’m saying she’s pretty, but you’re way hotter.” He muttered under his breath, turning a bit red. Dude, I have a girlfriend apparently, why are you hitting on me? “Mr. Young-“  
“Richard, please, Miss Moore.” He smiled at me, with his teeth almost as dazzling as Alex’s.  
“Richard. I have a girlfriend, why do you insist on flirting with me?” I tapped the bar for another refill.  
“Maybe I think the old Leah Moore that I dated in college is still in there, waiting to kiss me again.” I froze, sending a mental distress signal to Alex. If you can hear me get over here my ex is here and he’s hitting on me let’s go get our young driver and leave.  
“Richie? Richie Young, from American History?” I said, the memories coming back to me.  
“You and I snuck onto the roof of the physics building and had-“  
“Right!” I said, cutting him off as the bartender refilled my drink. “Jesus I can’t recognize you without those pimples. How’ve you been Ritchie?”  
“Well, you know what I do. Did you really settle into the family fortune, swing to the other fence, and give up your dreams of being a cop? I’ve never pegged you the type for giving up, Leah.” Shit. “Much less, being a lesbian, because you seemed to enjoy-“  
I held up my hand. “Ritchie. People change. Families change. Money changes hands. And drinks-“ I toss back my bourbon with one fluid motion “Are drunk. Now, I need to find my girlfriend. Goodnight.” I stood up, throwing a sizable tip that a sober Leah would never leave, and strode up to my girlfriend with a drunken smoothness as she stands alone admiring an Aztec stone.  
“Hello darling,” I say, kissing her full on the mouth, tasting cherry lip gloss and champagne. She looks shocked because I’ve never kissed her like that of my own free will, but she sighs, savoring it.  
“I was just looking at this Aztec relic…” I nodded. “Dear, that is rather fascinating, but don’t you think it’s time we go back to the hotel room?” Jesus Christ my bourbon brain is flirting with my lesbian team mate who normally flirts with me. Alex looked surprised, but linked her arm with mine and guided me out the door.  
“Why the change of pace darling?” She asked as we exited the main area. Behind us, a speaker had shushed the crowded room. I was about to answer when out of the corner of my eye, I noticed Richard Young disappearing through a door.  
“Wait… that’s my ex.” I pointed to the door that Richard had just entered. I started walking towards it, hand reaching for my gun.  
Alex looked confused. “Why do you want to go track down your ex?”  
“Shush,” I said, holding up a finger. I opened the door, pointing down the spiral staircase that was dimly lit from bare light bulbs in the walls. Alex followed me with one hand on my shoulder, ready to pull me back or back me up.  
As we got near a door on the bottom of the stairs, I heard a couple voices. Shit, where do we hide? I froze in panic, but luckily Alex had the sense to push me under the stairs, blocking ourselves in with a few cardboard boxes. The twin guards with the bulldog faces walked out of a door to our right and stomped up the stairs to the party. Suddenly, a tap on my shoulder scared me.  
“Leah we need to get back up. Isn’t that what the FBI taught you to do in these situations?”  
I shook my head, pulling out my gun. “No, they taught me to go in.” I kicked the boxes out of the way and walked to the door, getting ready to open it. Alex came up behind me, pulling her gun out of her holster. No. She can’t do this.  
“Alex I can’t let you go in with me. Stay out here and guard the door, ok?” She shook her head, grabbing my shoulder again. “Leah I am going in there with you as your back up.” Her blue eyes looked scared, but her face was set in grim determination. I shrugged, opening the door.  
We darted in, hiding behind some crates stacked by the door. I closed the door once we were through, and then took a look at our surroundings. The room was like something out of Indiana Jones. The ceilings disappeared into darkness, but large lights were suspended from chains hanging down in a pattern. Shelves held different artifacts, but some were too big to be put on a shelf. A stuffed replica of a mammoth took up a spot for six shelves, but gave Alex and I some cover to get our bearings.  
“We search the storage unit until we find Richard. Then, we find the drug cartel, arrest them, and go back to our hotel room. Got it?” Alex nodded and I stood up, making my head spin from the Bourbon. “Take that row, I’ll take this one.” Alex went to the row that I pointed at, and I took the row with the mammoth.  
The relics would’ve been interesting to look at, but suddenly the lights were turned off. I froze in the dark, childhood memories of a power outage from a storm that had left me plagued with a fear of the dark. Alex didn’t scream, but I could hear her trying to find a gap between the shelves to come get me while muttering “Leah… Leah? C’mon girl we need to get together again.” Suddenly, red emergency lights illuminated the shelves every twenty feet from their posts and I could see her through a gap in the shelves. “Alex…” I pulled a Chinese vase off the shelf and jumped through, just in time to get hit over the head with a smaller version of the same vase. 

X

“Leah! Leah wake up!” I moaned, feeling for my gun in its holster. The world came back to me in fuzzy shots, but eventually I could sit up from the cold cement floor. Alex was sitting next to me shaking, with tears streaming down her face. “The two guards found us. One grabbed me while the other knocked you out. We’re still in the warehouse, but it seems like they’ve adjusted the shelves to make a central clearing where they’re running some kind of operation. We had to walk through there to get to here.”  
I stood up slowly, running my hand over the shelves that formed a square room as a makeshift prison. I tried to budge the large tablets on the bottom shelves, but they wouldn’t move. Alex sighed from her spot on the floor. “After they threw us in here they picked up a shelf and put that boulder on it,” she pointed to a sizable looking stone on the bottom of a shelf. “I tried lifting it, but it’s no use. I’ve been catching snippets of conversation, but it’s no use. We can’t see anything through the shelves either, it’s all a giant maze.” I sat down next to Alex, letting her rest her head on my shoulder. “What do we do Leah?”  
I sighed, then I jumped as the boulder was moved. The makeshift door was opened, and a guard grabbed me and dragged me out. I remained motionless as Alex tried to fight the other guard, but I heard the boulder dragged into its place, and her sobs disappeared as the guard carried me farther from the cell.  
Where is he taking me? I pretended to be unconscious, but every so often I could open my eyes and catch glimpses of where we had been. Shelves were indeed organized like a maze, opening up to rooms. Large artifacts had been moved out of the way to make room for the makeshift rooms. Crates were organized like desks, with various people working in various rooms. In a couple, it seemed like they were actually taking artifacts apart and repairing them. Why would they want to do that? I saw the mammoth in one room, being cut open by a particularly nasty looking knife. Wherever we were going though, I knew that Alex and I couldn’t possibly fight our way out. We didn’t have enough bullets.  
Suddenly, my carrier stopped at a room. It was separate from the others by at least fifty feet, and it actually had its own door. He lifted a giant fist to knock, and I closed my eyes to look as unconscious as I could.  
“You lumbering fool! I told you to bring me the lesbian that was actually conscious. If they are lesbians, hmph. I doubt they are, it’s probably part of their cover. The FBI has got to stop meddling. In our affairs.” Richard? And I didn’t have my badge on me…  
“I actually am a lesbian you know.” I sat up, twisting around so I was sitting on the guard’s shoulder.” He looked confused, but made no move to grab me seeing as I wasn’t going to run away. Richard was watching me curiously from the other side of a real desk with a laptop on it and a small golden idol on the other. To one side of the room, a large dinosaur fossil was still on its display stand.  
“Put her down there and leave us.” He gestured to a crate, so my carrier picked me up and set me on the crate rather gently for his size. Richard stood up, crossing to the other side of his desk so he could see me.  
“How did you know I was FBI?” I asked furiously. Suddenly, he started laughing. “Geez! I didn’t know the FBI was really that stupid to try and infiltrate my base again. I took a guess! You would think that they would’ve sent the military to flush us out. No matter, we would be gone by then. I have informants you know.” He winked.  
“My boss thought that a smaller team could get in and out safely-“  
“So did he put you together? Or did you make a booty call to some whore house-“ I stood up so fast and punched him that he barely had time to draw a gun from his pocket. But then, I was faced with the trouble of having punched a major drug lord and he was now holding a gun to my head.  
“Tsk tsk. It could’ve been easier, you know. You could’ve went home with your girlfriend. Or even come home with me. I would’ve taken you down here myself, taken you on a sexual escapade, fucking around the museum’s artifacts. Have you ever had sex on a dinosaur skeleton? It’s invigorating. Should I call your girlfriend and leave you two to it?” He paused, letting the words sink in. That slimy bastard.  
“I don’t care if you have a gun to my head. I’ll keep talking about my girlfriend and maybe I’ll punch you again, seeing as that’s the only contact you’ve had with a woman in a while-“ smack. I was on the floor, nursing a broken nose when he bent over me.  
“I could do it you know. Take you here and now. Break you of that homosexuality you claim you are.” He pushed his foot behind my shoulder, making my eyes well up with tears.  
“A true FBI agent. Doesn’t talk unless she’s persuaded. Fine, I’ll persuade you. Guards!” Richard sighed. “I didn’t want your girlfriend to see you like this, but whatever I must to, I must do.”  
“Wait!” I croaked. “You haven’t even told me what you want.” I waited for another blow, or even a laugh, so it shocked me when he pulled me up and sat me on the dinosaur’s foot bones.  
“The truth is, I have no idea what to do with you and your bodacious friend. I could rape you and blah blah, but frankly that’s not my style. That’s for the true disgusting bastards. As you can see, I run a clean organization, not some swamp pit.”  
“What are you doing here?” I asked, trying to keep him talking while I fixed my nose. Richard sighed, resting against his desk. “I am running an office of criminals. Your two body guards are body guards or mercenaries, whatever a customer hires them for. We’re cutting open that mammoth to deliver drugs, or bombs, which we also make and sell. One of the guards is also a master of -ahem- information, per say.”  
“He’s a master of torturing people?” Richard sighed again, shaking his head. “Nasty work, and it gets the ground all dirty. I have to get a clean-up crew to clean your blood off the floor.” He gestured to the specks of my blood that had come out of my nose. You see, I am the manager of the Craigslist of villains.”  
Wow. He’s literately made an eBay of killers. But why? How does he profit? “How do you profit from all this?”  
Richard shook his head. “You aren’t thinking creatively! Think like a leader. I can collect a portion of their pay of their jobs. For that portion, I made an incorruptible website, thanks to the hackers and programmers that work for me. I design the website, I get their names out there! I’m like their agent. Any villain who aspires to anything wants their name on my website. I perform my own background checks of course. I don’t want to advertise master arsonists that leave lighter fluid at the crime scene. I promise our clients that they won’t get caught, and we do all the work! Of course, there’s also another service- Ah!” The burly guards that had captured myself and Alex had came to the office.  
“Fetch the other lesbian for me, would you boys? Maybe they’ll kiss each other a bit for you.” I rolled my eyes as the guards stomped away to get Alex.  
“So. What is this other service you provide?”  
“It’s an auction section of the website. Users can put targets up there, and assassins can bid for the price to hunt them. The user starts at a price, and the villains bet to see who can do the job for less. High-ranking targets like government officials usually start at a couple million, but it depends. “  
“Depends on what? The country that they’re from?”  
“Yes. Their position, how old they are, sex, etc. It’s quite funny when users put each other on the site, and the same assassin has to kill them both.”  
“That happens?”  
“Oh yes. Spouses, family members, political enemies. Everyone has an enemy. Ah! Your girlfriend is here!” Alex was pushed through the door by a guard, and she froze when she saw me.  
“They told me you were dead…” I tried to stand up, but my head felt dizzy. Alex rushed to help me while Richard sighed. “Dear me, hit you too hard now did I? Maybe I should make you the assassin.”  
Alex and I froze. Her blue eyes burned with hate and fear, but I kept her from leaping up. “What do you mean?” she asked.  
“I am going to hypnotize one of you into becoming an assassin, and put the other one of you as the target. The assassin will win the betting of course, and you’ll have to kill your girlfriend. After that, I’ll un-hypnotize the assassin, and she’ll be heartbroken over her actions. It’s enough to scar someone for the rest of their lives.”  
I looked over at Alex who had turned pale. “What if we say no?” I mustered in my strongest voice.  
Richard sighed again. “Then we vote on how to kill you both. Firing squad, crushed by something… I’m betting on being put in the mammoth with the bomb of course, that one sounds excellent.”  
“You’re mad!” Screamed Alex. She ran at Richard, who actually looked upset when he knocked her unconscious with his gun. I stayed put, trying to stop the blood from my nose.  
“You picked a fighter, Leah.” I nodded, avoiding his stare. “Make me the target.” I said.  
“What?” He honestly looked surprised. “You heard me, make me the target. I can avoid Alex for the rest of my life.”  
Richard sighed. “How noble of you Leah, and how noble of you to volunteer. I’ll have Hans lead you out.” He opened the door to the burly guards. One of them picked up Alex with ease, while the other took my arm.  
“Wait,” Richard offered me the gun. “This is yours. We can heal her up and give you a week for to conceal yourself.”  
“Why are you giving it back to me?” Thank god I have a gun.  
He actually looked nervous when he answered me, and I knew that he was telling the truth of the foreboding incident. “You’re going to need it, love.”

X

After I came back from the mission without Alex, Anapol believed she was dead. He proclaimed her killed in action, even though no one saw a body. Everyone came up to me at Alex’s ‘funeral’, offering me condolences. Some people, like her little brother, asked me why I didn’t save her, and I honestly couldn’t answer that question. Anapol let me continue working on the FBI, but I always saw him watching me, like he was waiting for me to burst into tears. The tears came when I was alone in my bed, wanting someone there to protect me. I got a letter from Richard Young a week after Alex’s funeral.  
Miss moore,  
My condolences on alex kingfisher’s death. Alex kingfisher’s hunt has begun. I would leave your apartment if I were you.  
Sincerely,  
Richard young  
It was short, but I refused to move. That is, until I saw her for the first time since the mission. I was still single, and I was writing outside of a café in town. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw a red-haired woman walk past my table. She had a black dress that was fitting to her body, with matching black heels and a black sun hat. Her black sunglasses masked her eyes, but I knew behind those hideous glasses I would find Alex. I held still, waiting for her to make her move. A tablet in my drink would’ve poisoned me, or a knife to the back. She’s going to do it. Get ready to fight. Said one side of my brain, but the other thought differently.  
She won’t attack you in public. Too many variables. She’s probably tailing you, taking notes on your daily activities. I reassured myself with this thought as I saw her disappear around a corner. I just need to stay with people, I can’t let myself be alone.  
That day, I visited Anapol. I told him I was being stalked, and he advised me to get out of town. I agreed, and that night I spontaneously drove to my mother and father’s mansion in the Adirondacks mountains of New York State from Washington D.C. If she’s as good of an assassin as Richard Young thinks she is, she’s tailing me right now. I sped up to seventy, thinking of the possibility. I took an exit off the high way, and doubled back on back roads to a hotel that I could stay the night at. The following morning, I left before six, and made it to my parents’ house at noon, counting a stop for fuel, a stop for food, and the back road navigation that I took.  
My parents were happy to see me of course, but I had to explain to them about the mission. They thoroughly enjoyed some of the stories that I told at holiday meals, and they were totally honest with me. Greatest thing about my parents, they never pretend about anything.  
That night at dinner, I had to tell them. My dad luckily has enough ice breakers to melt the North Pole, so I was pretty relaxed.  
“So Leah! Are you here to guard us in our dangerous retirement lives?” he said, mouth full of red potatoes he and I had mashed for dinner. I chuckled.  
“No dad, it’s my ex. Two of them, actually.”  
“Boys. Hmph. I’ll get the shotgun.” Dad wiped his mouth, taking his plate to the kitchen. “Since when have you guys owned a shotgun?” I turned to mom. She chuckled. “Your father likes hunting with it. He’s got a couple in the basement. You work with guns, he’d like to take you hunting some time. But really Leah, what’s wrong?” My mother always knew when something was bothering me, even now.  
“Well, you’re going to think this is crazy.”  
“I’m the mother of an FBI agent. Crazy is my life.”  
“Plus you’re married to dad.” We both laughed, and paused to listen to him rummage around the kitchen.  
“Well, one of my ex’s basically hypnotized my other ex to believe she’s an assassin charged with hunting me down.” I waited for my mother to say something, but she just sighed.  
“Honey, we aren’t bodyguards.”  
“I know mom, but I figured with the location and all…”  
“If you think she’s an assassin, she’s probably done her homework. She probably knows about this camp. You either need to run around the world to random places, craft a new identity, or confront her.”  
I thought for a second. All of the ideas I had, and confronting Alex was not one of them. “Mom, you think like an FBI agent.” I kissed her cheek, and brought our plates to the kitchen.  
Mom and Dad helped me brainstorm plans and locations, but I couldn’t stay for more than a night. Dad gave me a rifle and two boxes of ammunition, and mom gave me a hug, whispering in my ear “Remember, you used to love her at one point.” I nodded, kissing them good-bye, and preparing myself for the long drive home. 

X

When I confronted Alex, I didn't expect it to go the way I planned. I did however, expect that she was waiting for me in my house when I got home from work.  
“Hello Leah.” I turned on my light, catching sight of my ex-girlfriend sitting on my kitchen counter. She was wearing simple clothes, but a gun was clearly displayed on the counter, sending the clear message that I can shoot you if I want, so we play the game like I want.  
“Hello Alex.” I countered, putting my bag on the counter calmly. I had my gun on my hip, but we could no doubt draw and fire our weapons at the same time. If Alex believed she was an assassin, then her whole body could be a weapon.  
Her face paled, and I could read the same fear and anger that I saw on the last night I knew her. “How do you know my name?!” Her hand twitched, like she wanted to reach for her gun and torture the information out of me. I sighed, running a hand through my hair. “To tell you the truth, I’ve been expecting you. Want some tea, coffee?” I had purposefully bought a box of mint tea, knowing it was Alex’s favorite.  
She nodded, apparently over the shock that I knew her name. “Is mint tea ok?” I got out two mugs and filled the kettle of water, all while a master assassin sat on my kitchen counter.  
“Mint tea is great, yeah.”  
I showed her the box. “Unopened and everything. You can’t believe me, but I’m not going to poison you. I’m going to have some tea myself actually.”  
She nodded, waiting for me to say something else. I have to keep talking to her, maybe I can get through to her. “Want to stay for dinner? I picked up some fresh salmon and greens from the market. I might need some help though.” When she didn’t respond, I kept talking. “If you’re going to kill me, can you wait until after dinner? I practically had to kill for this salmon because the merchant wouldn’t bargain with me. Let me know now, because I don’t want to die knowing that I wasted twenty bucks on some organic salmon.” I poured our tea, handing her a mug.  
“Go ahead and put the salmon on, yeah.” She’s confused. Her brain is trying to process my actions, but she knows she has to kill me. She’s trying not to get attached to me. My Alex is still in there… I ignored my own hopeful thoughts and washed my hands, taking out the salmon and the greens.  
“So have you planned out how you’re going to kill me?” I asked. Alex shrugged, sipping her tea. “I was going to just shoot you as you walked in the door, but you kinda caught me off-guard. Why am I even telling you that? Why did I even agree to stay for dinner?” Oh no, she’s upset.  
“Hey, relax. You can just come back and do your job when I’m asleep. I’m tired of running, so I thought I’d just confront you directly. This is all kinda socking to me too you know.” Telling her the truth was my one chance of getting through to my Alex.  
When she was silent for a bit, I tossed the greens at her. She made a move towards her gun, but she caught the greens. “Sorry to scare you. Could you wash those for me please? I’m going to marinate the salmon.” Alex nodded, hoping off of the counter and walking to the sink.  
After I finished marinating the salmon, I went over to check on Alex. She was attempting to wash the entire head, and I put my hand on hers when she reached for the sponge. “No, you wash each leaf separately,” I took the head from her, twisting it and breaking the leaves apart, handing some to her. “All you need to do is run them under cold water and pat them with a paper towel, it’s not complicated enough for a sponge.” I smiled at her, trying to pierce the mask. She smiled back, before rolling her eyes.  
“My research told me you were a lesbian.” She said, washing the leaves. I rolled my eyes. “Out of all the research, you pick that as the most important fact?”  
She chuckled. “No, but sometimes it’s helpful to know what works on people.” I turned to her, setting the leaves down.  
“Miss Assassin, are you attempting to seduce me to death?” She shook her head, blushing. “No! No I don’t even like…” She doesn’t remember at all. I chuckled, taking a chance and placing my hand on her hip. I could feel her muscles tense, read to spring like a snake.  
“Good, because you’re totally not my type, and it’s nice to know who I can flirt with.” I left her dumbstruck by the sink as I went to go check the salmon. Jesus Christ, she almost snapped my fingers off.  
“Where do you want the greens?” She asked, patting the leaves that were wrapped in paper towels. I smiled, taking the leaves from the counter. “We’re going to stew them up with oil and some almonds and spices. Can you get me one a cast iron pan? They’re in the big cabinet next to the sink.” Moment of truth. Let’s see if she tries to kill me with the most dangerous item in my kitchen. I was relieved when she set the pan on the stove, smiling mischievously.  
“Thank you for not killing me with that.” I said, tossing the greens in the pan. She chuckled. “No problem Leah. What else can I do?”  
“Watch the greens in case they burn. I’m going to take the salmon out and bake it in the oven.” I turned the large oven on, carefully carrying the expensive fish across the kitchen. I set the timer and leaned back against the counter to drink my tea.  
“This better be a good fish for twenty dollars.” Alex said from the stove. I chuckled. “It will be. I pride myself on being a good cook.”  
“That wasn’t in my research,” Alex said. “You can make a note of it. Heck, you probably know a lot about me from all the research.” We stayed silent for a bit, listening to the crackle of oil in the pan.  
“Can you do me a favor Alex?” I asked. She turned, looking confused. “Do you not want me to kill you?”  
“No, that’s your choice. I want you to write a eulogy for me.”  
“You want the assassin that killed you to go to your funeral and read a eulogy for you that I wrote from my research on my mission to kill you? Isn’t that a little unorthodox.”  
“Well you can go undercover for my funeral. Say you’re my girlfriend or something.” I ignored Alex’s blushing as she turned back to the stove. “You’re a master of disguise, you can disguise yourself as my ex. You two actually look a lot alike you know.”  
“So I am your type,” she said with a smirk. I rolled my eyes. “What if I said yes?” I said quietly. We stayed silent for a bit longer.  
“I would say that you’re crazy to fall in love in such a short time period.” Alex said softly, stirring the greens. I shrugged, walking over to the stove.  
“How are the greens doing? They seem done.” I bent to check the timer on the stove. “Fish is almost done! Great! Grab some plates for me?” Alex nodded, stretching to reach the plates on the shelves that I had no problem reaching. I let myself admire her in the one instant, her concentration, her body stretched, and the bit of skin that showed at her waist when her shirt rode up. The clinking of plates helped me redirect my attention to the salmon in the oven and away from my ex’s killer body. I grabbed my oven mits and got the salmon out of the oven, filling the kitchen with a wave of heat and a lemon smell. Alex leaned over my shoulder to get a view of the salmon.  
“Well it certainly looks like a twenty-dollar salmon.” She joked. Rolling my eyes, I split the fish and collared greens onto the two plates. “Hey Joker, get the bottle of red wine from the refrigerator, would you?” I fished out two glasses and set them on my small dinner table that was usually cluttered with papers and case files. Alex brought over the wine and I uncorked it with my pocket knife. I saw Alex’s eyebrows raise at the knife, but she allowed me to pour her a glass.  
“Unopened. Not poisoned.” I said, clinking my glass with hers. She frowned. “Why did you buy all new things? You bought a new bottle of wine and a package of tea?”  
“I ran out of them. Eat the salmon, it’s really good.” She dug in, and I watched her wolf down her plate. I poured her some more wine, savoring my dinner.  
“Why are you eating so slow?” she joked, pouring herself a third glass of wine. I shrugged. “I want to enjoy my last meal. And I told you, I’ve been expecting this for a while now.” I felt her stare at me as I cut my greens.  
“For how long?” she asked. I looked up, seeing the curiosity and fear in her eyes. “You wouldn’t believe me if I told you. Plus, it would impede your mission.” She shrugged. I better at least try the truth. Why not?  
“Do you remember anything about becoming an assassin?” I asked, genuinely curious of how much they had gotten her to believe. Alex shrugged. “I trained a lot, as much as you did for your job.”  
“What about before? Chlidhood, anything?”  
“Well, my mother was a fashion designer, and I didn’t really want to be an assassin when I was younger-“  
“If a ten year old wanted to be an assassin I would be quite terrified of them.” I joked playfully. Alex laughed an honest laugh that brought back memories. “Anyway, I wanted to be a scientist. She was fine with it, but she thought I needed to be lady-like, so she would always give me these ‘Tips for Womanhood’… Anyway, I would always see her walking so confidently, so I would always ask her what made her so confident. One day, she told me ‘Alexandra, I simply relax my shoulders, elongate my neck, and think-“  
“Murder,” I finished quietly. Alex looked scared as she stood up, causing the chair to scrape back violently. “How do you know that… I haven’t even met you before this…” She shook her head as if trying to clear water from her ears, and stared at me, waiting for an answer.  
“You won’t believe me-“  
“I don’t care,” she interrupted harshly. “I’m still going to kill you anyway.”  
I sighed. “You used to be Alex Kingfisher, brilliant FBI scientist-“  
“FBI!” She looked disgusted, shaking her head. I held up my hand. “You used to be a chemist for the FBI. You were also accomplished in physics and biology. My department got a mission about a man running a drug cartel from a museum basement, so they paired myself and yo-Miss Kingfisher together. My boss thought we’d be the perfect team to bring down the museum. So, we did some research, stake outs, and we became friends. On the last night I was with Miss Kingfisher, we were going to the museum’s gala to investigate. You were wearing this gorgeous silver dress, and I had this midnight blue dress and crystal necklace… Anyway, we got in, and I met an ex-boyfriend of mine-“  
“I thought you were a lesbian,” Alex said, looking confused. I sighed. “I’m bisexual! Now, let me continue!” She put up her hands in defense, but waited to hear me speak. “The ex-boyfriend was Richard Young. You may know him as the website owner that auctioned me off as a target.” Alex nodded. Ok, I have a pretty good idea of what they told her…  
“Well you and I had gotten captured. We were in a scuffle with some guards, and Richard pinned us. He said we had two options, death, or a game. One of us was going to be hypnotized to believe they were an assassin, and the other would be a target. The target would be ‘auctioned’ on the website, and of course, Richard was going to pull strings to make sure the ‘assassin’ won the bets. You attacked Richard, and he knocked you unconscious. I volunteered to be the target, and he let me go. He gave me a week to prepare, and I did nothing. When he set you free, I was expecting you to turn up that day. It was weeks until you saw me in that café. Then I ran to my parents-“  
“That’s where you went for the weekend! You scared me half to death; I thought you were leaving or something… Sorry! Continue.”  
“My parents told me that I either need to keep running, or stop running and face you. So, I waited. I lived with the realization that I would probably die, and I kept up the plan. Finally, you showed up.” I stopped, waiting for her to shoot me.  
“Wait, so that’s it? Your plan to un- hypnotize me was to talk to me until I snapped back to me ‘old self’?” I shrugged.  
“I believe you, sorta. It’s hard to explain. I could definitely see Richard doing something like that, and it seems so probable. Yet…”  
“You have to kill me to get snapped out of your sense. The way Richard put it, you’d drive yourself made until you killed me…” Alex sighed.  
“It’s not really like that… I mean I have the urge to kill you, but it’s subtle-“  
“That’s what you told me when we were dating…” Alex looked shocked again. “So I was a lesbian…?”  
“Well, you were, and I was still confused about my bisexuality. But you were gorgeous and so smart… I just fell in love with you instantly. You used to wear this necklace…” I jumped up, causing Alex to jump with me. I ran into my bedroom, digging through my sock drawer until I found the atom necklace. I ran back to the dining room, where Alex was still standing in bewilderment.  
“This was the necklace you would always wear. You can have it back if you want…” I tipped it into her hand, watching as she inspected it. Alex ran her fingers over it while I watched, waiting for her to respond.  
“You kept this? Even when you knew I would kill you?” she turned to me, holding up the necklace. I nodded. “Want to put it on?” She hesitated, but nodded, handing me the chain. Alex turned around, holding up her hair. I put the necklace on like I used to on the rare occasion she took it off. When it was on, she felt for it, twisting it like she used to do when she was thinking. I smiled, remembering the old Alex.  
“Miss Kingfisher, I believe you have a job to do.” We both wheeled around, where Richard Young was standing in my kitchen, pointing a gun at Alex. She tensed up, hand moving to the empty holster at her waist. “Where is my gun!?” she demanded, looking around wildly. I pulled out mine, tossing it to her. She pointed it at Richard, waiting.  
He laughed. “Miss Moore, you don’t give your assassin your gun. The FBI must have lowered their standards.”  
I moved to stand next to Alex. “I told her the truth, Richard.” Alex nodded, not taking her eyes off of him. “And I believe her. You’re outnumbered by an FBI agent and a master assassin.”  
He sighed, holding up a golden whistle. “Miss Kingfisher, you forget it is I that gave you that knowledge, and thus I can take it away. Or use it against you.” Alex’s eyes grew big, and she shoved me.  
“Leah! Go!” I turned, running for the rifle in my bedroom. I heard a small whistle, and Alex was running down the hall. I dove under my bed, emerging slowly with the rifle. I waited behind the door, and as she passed, I could see that she had thrown the pistol to give me an upper hand. I have to knock her out. Maybe being unconscious will jog her memory. As she moved into my bedroom, I quickly switched the lights on to startle her, and threw the rifle at her head. I missed, and she dove for me. I held up my hands in a boxing stance, waiting for her. She picked up a necklace from my dresser top and ran at me. I jabbed for her head, trying to miss her nose.  
“Alex! It’s me! Leah!” she ignored me, trying to the get the chain around my neck. I darted, kicking and punching whenever I got the opportunity. Suddenly, I slipped on the hard wood floor, and it gave Alex the opportunity to slip the necklace over my head. I felt it tighten, and my body went into an automatic reaction. I flipped her body over mine, pinning her on my bed. “Now I’m aggressive.” I muttered, as Alex was trying to get out from under me. Suddenly, she kicked me in my back, making me fall to the side, giving her the time to get up.  
“I’ve seen you naked!” I said, to try to startle her. She looked confused, but came at me again with the necklace. I ran at the kitchen, hoping Richard had left, or at least put the gun away.  
I ran into the empty kitchen, opening my cabinet doors frantically. I felt her hands on my neck, and I swung back with the frying pan. Her hands loosened, and she crumpled to the ground. Did I kill her…?  
“I hope you didn’t kill my best assassin, Miss Moore.” I wheeled around, seeing Richard come out of the bathroom. I pointed the frying pan at him, and he held up his hands in mock-surrender.  
“Fix her. Give me my Alex back.” A tear rolled down my cheek, and I didn’t bother to stop it. He sighed. “You fixed her yourself. Alex Kingfisher is the FBI chemist that you knew and loved. Although, she may not love you too much after you hit her with that pan.” I shrugged. “All’s fair in love and war. Now get out my life.”  
Richard walked past me, careful to step over Alex. He quickly pecked my cheek before opening up my apartment door. “Good bye, Miss Moore. Send me a wedding invitation.”


End file.
